


Keeper of Dreams

by DragonSaphiraReads



Series: The Selfish Protector [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Kinda, Sympathetic Deceit, deceit's an antagonist but still sympathetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 09:11:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18333020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonSaphiraReads/pseuds/DragonSaphiraReads
Summary: Deceit is tired of not being heard. Of the other sides and Thomas dismissing his words as lies without even listening to what he has to say.Set after Selfishness vs SelflessnessA/N - You can now listen to this oneshot as an audio recording, read by me! https:  //youtu.be/ri4H0b63V6g





	Keeper of Dreams

Deceit stood still after he’d sunk out from the most recent discussion, his fists clenched at his side. His eyes were closed, and his breath hissed between his teeth.

They refused to listen. All of them! And after he’d finally gotten Thomas to admit to his true desire, Roman decided he had to be a hero and come to Patton’s rescue! He had to make Thomas do something he didn’t want to do simply because that pathetic fatherly side had pouted at him!

An uncharacteristic growl escaped his throat and in a sudden burst of anger Deceit’s fist slammed into the wall next to him, the drywall shattering into pieces. He paid no mind to his stinging knuckles, the rage flowing through him dulled his senses.

“I cannot believe this! I try to explain things as simple as possible, and they think I intend for Thomas to murder someone! I place them in a courtroom to argue things out in a way they should see as fair and all they can do is nitpick every little thing!”

“Perhaps because you excluded the one person who could truly bring order to a situation like this.” That cool, calculated voice behind him. Deceit sneered, whirling around to glare at Logan.

“I was trying to simplify matters. Thomas was confused, and all you would do is introduce more options and confuse things even more.”

“And yet I could have found a compromise that we all agreed on, rather than the decision you forced.” The logical side adjusted his glasses, regarding him coldly. Deceit hardly had the energy to argue with him anymore.

“I forced it? No! I didn’t get anything I wanted out of this! We spent nearly an hour on this and we ended up with the decision that the heart thought was right!”

“You got Thomas to admit to lying. What more could you want?” A dejected Roman had appeared, gone from the discussion outside. Deceit wanted to scream.

“But that’s not what I want! I got all of you to testify about what you wanted - I told you what I wanted! Do you all think that was a lie?!”

“What else are you good for?”

Oh great, the storm cloud had entered the scene. Deceit sneered again - how could they all be so blind?!

“Ah, wonderful, three against one. Listen - you all heard what Thomas said. You heard his true desire. You heard him say he wanted to go to the callback. So don’t blame me for that one playing the hero and coming to the heart’s rescue. I will not take the fall for Thomas being unhappy here!”

And with that, he spun on his heel to trek back into that dark part of Thomas’s mind to work off this anger, to push away this ever growing feeling that he’d failed. 

They didn’t understand. Their view of him was twisted, wrong. Of course it wasn’t exactly unexpected, given how he acted around them. And Anxiety was in their ranks now. He’d no doubt told horror stories to the others about the scary snake who haunted the shadows of the dark part of Thomas’s mind. 

Nervous, overactive Anxiety. Making him into more of a villain than he is. 

He reached his room and slammed the door behind him, leaning up against it as his legs finally gave out on him. Deceit slid down to curl in on himself, knees to his chest and chin resting on his knees. He closed his eyes, focusing in on the dwindling conversation happening in the real world. 

Patton, the bleeding heart, was lecturing Thomas about empathizing with his friends and making sure they weren’t hurt by his absense. How he should be selfless and put himself in other people’s shoes. That by doing this, his friends will remember and join Thomas when the time comes for his own wedding. 

Empty words of encouragement, all of them. How could the personification of Thomas’s heart and emotions not realize how much this decision was hurting everyone?

Deceit could feel it, resonating all throughout the mindscape. The rest of the sides had returned to their rooms, and with that the heavy waves of regret and sadness and even anger washed over him. 

He could feel Logan, sitting quietly in his room with his nose in a book but not absorbing any words. He was brooding over not being included, over his minimal involvement, how if he was in Patton’s place, he would have come up with a solution that was satisfactory to everyone. 

He could feel Anxiety, in his room in this same dark corner he resided in. His heart was racing and thoughts reeling, all centered around Deceit. This was the source of the anger, Deceit realized. It didn’t surprise him, and he ignored the stinging pain he felt in his chest. All the better if the anxious one feared and hated him. It made things easier. 

And he could feel Roman. Princely, fanciful Roman sprawled across his bed with an arm flung dramatically over his eyes. Running the scene over and over again, finding another way it could have gone, trying to find a way that he could have gotten what he so desperately wanted without upsetting the heart. 

He wanted to go to the callback. The desire rolled off of him in waves and Deceit hadn’t needed to hear it for himself. He knew. He always knew what Thomas wanted. Almost before Thomas himself did. 

That’s his job, after all. Deceit is the guardian of all of Thomas’s wants and desires. Not his passions, that was Roman. Not the yearning to help others, no, that was Patton. Not the plan forward to achieve them, that was Logan. 

But the deepest, most selfish desires that Thomas would never even allow himself to voice aloud, lest he be shot down by how impossible those dreams were? Deceit was in charge. He kept careful guard of his treasure. He silenced any of the sides who would dare try to speak his secrets aloud. They were for Thomas and him... and only them. 

And sometimes, Thomas abandoned them. He would leave it behind, in pursuit of a new, more manageable goal dreamt by Roman, planned by Logan, and fueled by Patton. But Deceit never let them go. He never allowed one to slip through the cracks. 

The others resented him for it. They despised him for covering their mouths, keeping things in. They mistrusted him, seeing him as a malicious force bent on keeping them from speaking their minds. 

Perhaps, in a way, he was. He wouldn’t deny that his job was not a pleasant one for the others at times. Deceit carded a gloved hand through his hair, throwing his hat to the side. 

It was not fair. Anxiety was just like him - an unpleasant force who had an important job to do. The sides looked at himself, and they would see someone who revels in deception, who lies for the fun of it, who shuts their mouths just because he can.

Did they see Anxiety the same way, he wondered. Deceit knew he wasn’t well liked at the start. Roman especially expressed his distaste. Did they see someone who revels in causing Thomas fear, in doing everything he can to hinder him every step of the way? 

No. They saw a careful protector. A fight or flight reflex programmed to keep Thomas safe, even if it did go off more often than maybe necessary. A dark presence that could bring a small dose of fear to the discussion. 

Once, Deceit found solace in the fact that Anxiety was just as outcast from the light as the rest of them. Now, he’s found a way to bear it, to step out into the light and not be blinded. To not be cast back. 

Deceit shook his head, standing up from the floor and retrieving his hat. They trusted Anxiety more than they trusted him. They found a way to understand Anxiety, but they wouldn’t extend that same courtesy to him. So be it. If they wanted to treat him like a villain who’s only intent is to hide important things from Thomas, then fine. 

It didn’t bother him anyways.

Carefully, Deceit made it to his bedside and sat, then held his gloved hands out in front of him, palms up. He closed his eye, leaving the golden one open to shine brightly and drop a single glimmering tear of light into Deceit’s waiting hands. It landed and grew into a ball of light, emitting a soft warmth and hovering a few inches above his palms. 

The dream of being in a movie. This dream that Deceit had been so close to making come true... would likely never come to fruition now. All because the bleeding heart had the others wrapped right around his little finger. He reveled in the light’s warmth, in all that could have been had this dream come true. Then he raised his hands, and let the dream float up, away from his reach. 

Into the glittering sky that made up the “ceiling” of Deceit’s room. None of the other sides had ever been here. They likely thought a snake like him should live in ruin, under a rock. Likely they would be envious of the clear starry sky he looked up to every night. Alight with the warm glow of Thomas’s deepest desires, he laid back on his bed and closed his eyes. 

He didn’t sleep, though. Not with the stabbing pain in his heart that he knew was the dying pains of a dream that would never come to pass.

**Author's Note:**

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> You can talk to me on tumblr! @dragonsaphirareads


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